


Green Eyes

by HestiaForever



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: And a little fluff, Angst, Both Rowena and Slytherin are idiots, Cross-posted on FF.net, F/M, Fluff, Heartbreak, Hogwarts Founders Era, I don't know why I wrote this, Loss, Salazar Slytherin is Helena Ravenclaw's father
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-28 20:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10838841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HestiaForever/pseuds/HestiaForever
Summary: They had always had some sort of indescribable feeling hovering between them, but it had never become anything more.But then it gets stronger, and stronger, and stronger, until one day, after teaching her Transfiguration class, Rowena finds herself somehow trapped against the wall of the astronomy tower in Salazar’s arms. She isn’t sure how she got there; she isn’t sure how he got there; all she knows is that he says something and then she says something, breathlessly, and then suddenly his lips are on hers and it feels so wrong because they’re both professors and here they are snogging like a pair of hormonal teenagers and what will Godric and Helga say and they don’t have time for this, they really don’t, but then he presses harder against her lips and, for once, she isn’t thinking anymore...Or:The story of Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin.





	1. Rowena

Even Rowena herself isn’t sure how it happens.

They had always had some sort of indescribable feeling hovering between them, but it had never become anything more. After all, neither Rowena nor Salazar were the type of person to rush into something, especially after so many years of friendship.

But then it gets stronger, and stronger, and stronger, until one day, after teaching her Transfiguration class, Rowena finds herself somehow trapped against the wall of the astronomy tower in Salazar’s arms. She isn’t sure how she got there; she isn’t sure how he got there; all she knows is that he says something and then she says something, breathlessly, and then suddenly his lips are on hers and it feels so wrong because they’re both professors and here they are snogging like a pair of hormonal teenagers and what will Godric and Helga say and they don’t have time for this, they really don’t, but then he presses harder against her lips and she isn’t thinking anymore for once and oh Merlin.

It escalates after that-- Salazar cornering her in empty classrooms in between classes; Rowena visiting his quarters after the students’ curfew. It's strange; the strangest relationship Rowena has ever been in-- not that she's been in many. What's between them is unspoken. They're not dating; that's too juvenile. Nor are they courting-- too formal. But it's not just a fling, either. When they talk at times other than their clandestine nightly visits, it's amicable but barely romantic. Anyone watching them wouldn't even speculate that the true nature of their relationship is much more than friendly. Yet it absolutely, definitely is. When her lips find his in darkened rooms, when he gazes on her with that indecipherable but somehow passionate stare, there is no questioning that. And suddenly, inexplicably, even though this relationship is horrendously improper, Rowena finds herself doing two things she had never expected to do. Lose her better judgement-- and fall in love.

Love isn’t like what Rowena imagined-- it’s not just damsels in distress and knights in shining armor. No, their love is so much more than that. It’s the crackling passion between them when his emerald green eyes meet her stormy gray ones; it’s the tender sweetness when their lips meet; it’s feeling that she’d do anything for him.

What frightens Rowena most about love is that it isn’t rational. There isn’t a manual for love. It’s limitless and boundless and ruleless and it’s both exhilarating and intimidating.

But when Salazar touches her, all thoughts about rules and and fear disappear, and suddenly there’s only one indefinable feeling.

Love. 

And Rowena thinks that perhaps all those love stories she had called silly up until now were not quite that unrealistic after all. Because when Salazar looks at her, she knows that she would do anything-- from fight a Hungarian Horntail to hang herself-- for him.

\---

When he leaves that day in the peak of summer, she doesn’t believe it at first. Several hours after the argument, Rowena goes outside to search for him, thinking that he’s just sulking around his favorite spot under an old oak beside the lake, or perhaps walking along the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. 

But he’s not there. Or anywhere. 

After hours of relentless searching, Rowena finally comes to terms with the growing feeling in the pit of her stomach. Salazar is gone. She would have done anything for him, but it seems that he had not felt the same.

Her heart shatters. 

Rowena hasn’t felt anything like it before. She hadn’t thought that someone’s heart could actually hurt-- she had thought that the term heartache was merely an exaggeration. 

But the choking pain in her chest is anything but an exaggeration.

\---

That night is the first time Rowena Ravenclaw cries in decades.

\---

Rowena is sure that Godric and Helga notice something is wrong-- they know her too well to not notice. But they also know her well enough to know not to press, so they leave her alone. And besides, they’d seen her unexplainable proximity to Salazar, even though they hadn’t known exactly the cause, and they’d seen how hard she’d been hit by his betrayal.

Until she becomes sick. At first, the Head of Ravenclaw House passes it off as a simple cold, and her fellow professors seem to believe her.

That is, they believe her until she passes out right in the middle of a charms class.

By then, Rowena has already realized what has happened. She is not stupid, and she knows full well what she and Salazar have done.

That night, when Helga asks, concerned, about Rowena’s health, Rowena tells her the truth. The truth that even Rowena did not fully believe, did not want to believe, until the words are out in the open, resonating around her bedchamber, and finally, the situation hits her full in the head. 

Salazar is gone forever, leaving behind not only his lover, but his child.

\---

For once in her life, Rowena Ravenclaw doesn’t have the answers.

What were you thinking? That one comes from Godric. The truth is, Rowena doesn’t know. Perhaps she wasn’t thinking for the first time in her life; perhaps she was absolutely blinded with her love (no-- infatuation) for him; blinded by the belief that he loved her, too. 

(She can't think of herself as loving him anymore. Once the shock faded, it was replaced by bitterness and anger-- a shield, though she doesn't want to admit it, from the pain. How could he leave Rowena, Godric, and Helga, and all they had built together? 

How could he leave her?)

Will you keep the child as your own? That one comes from her mother. Rowena wants to keep the child, of course she does. But if the truth comes out, Hogwarts might be ruined. It is such a young school, and who would want to send their child to a place whose deputy headmistress has an illicit child? And besides, Rowena is in no place in her life to care for a baby. Perhaps the baby would be happier with someone else… But no, Rowena cannot bear the thought of giving her child away… 

Why didn’t you tell us? That one comes from Helga. And Rowena doesn’t know. Now that she thinks back, the Head of Ravenclaw herself wonders why she didn’t even consider telling her two closest friends about her relationship with Salazar. Perhaps it was the secretive way Salazar had always gone about their affair, and the fact that she was so infatuated that Rowena never questioned it. Infatuation can really be an inconvenient thing.

Why did you let him do this to you? This one comes from Godric, again, and after hearing it, Rowena finally storms away from her room, effectively ending the interrogation. She doesn’t know why she leaves; she’s never been the quick tempered sort. Perhaps it’s the pregnancy hormones you’ve read so much about finally coming to life, she tells herself.

But inside, Rowena knows that that’s not really the reason. It’s because she doesn’t want to hear the words that she knows are true; she doesn’t want to admit that for once, she wasn’t thinking straight, that for once, she didn’t come out on top. 

How could you let him do this to you? 

I thought I loved him. I thought I loved him, and he betrayed me.

What will I do? 

And for once, Rowena Ravenclaw doesn’t know. 

\---

So much can happen in nine months.

Seasons change. Men die. Wars are won-- and lost. 

But as Rowena Ravenclaw learns the hard way, nine months is not enough to heal a broken heart. 

Her façade hardens, and Helga and Godric are finally convinced that she is okay. And even though that’s not the truth, it’s close. Salazar left her in shards, but finally, she has found all of the pieces. Perhaps she isn’t glued back together yet, but that will come in time.

No, nine months isn’t enough time to heal a broken heart. But it is enough time to have a child.

Helena Ravenclaw is born in the warm spring of 978. The birth isn’t easy on Rowena. But as she gazes down on her newborn child, she feels truly happy for the first time since Salazar left. 

At first glance, young Helena seems to be all Rowena. Until she opens her eyes.

And Rowena sees a pair of emerald green orbs as familiar to her as the back of her own hand. A pair of emerald green orbs that she hasn't seen in nine months. A pair of emerald green orbs that Rowena once gazed lovingly at as she proclaimed her love to another human for the first time. A pair of emerald green orbs that stared at her, unblinking, as she begged Salazar not to leave on the day that she lost the love of her life.

She shatters anew.

Rowena barely registers Helga asking her if she would like to write Salazar. And the truth is, Rowena would like nothing more than to pick up a quill and a sheet of parchment and beg him to come back. Merlin knows she would sell her soul just to see him again. And besides, what’s the worst that could happen? Logically, it makes sense to write him, to at least tell him about his daughter, despite the horrible way he’s betrayed all of them.

But her anger speaks, and suddenly she is saying words that she knows comes from her agonized heart, and not her brain.

For the first time in her life, Rowena Ravenclaw finds that she doesn’t care. 

\---

Rowena watches as Helena grows from a chubby toddler into a beautiful young lady. Whenever she looks into her daughter’s eyes, she is reminded of Salazar. But somehow, every single time those achingly emerald eyes meet hers, Rowena’s heart heals a little bit more. 

Rowena Ravenclaw will never stop loving Salazar Slytherin, but time and a new love have bandaged the wound.

And yet, during those moments when time seems to stop and the world fades away, Rowena cannot get him out of her head. She wonders where he is in the wide world. She wonders what he looks like now. She wonders if he’s met someone else. She wonders what he would think of their daughter. She wonders what he is doing. 

And she wonders if he is thinking of her like she is thinking of him.

\---

Rowena Ravenclaw knows that she is dying.

It is not illness or age that is slowly eating away at the brightest witch of her age. No, it is a broken heart.

Rowena loves two people above all else (because by now, she can finally admit she really did love Salazar), and both have betrayed her.

She knows that the baron’s son will not rest until he has found Helena. She has seen the wistful glances he sends her daughter’s way, and Rowena knows first-hand the look of a broken heart. No, he will bring Helena back, one day. But something tells Rowena that she will not be on this Earth long enough to welcome her beloved child. 

And if she does, will Helena ever be the beautiful, caring girl that Rowena once knew ever again? Rowena thinks about the empty engraved jewelry box, sitting on a high shelf in her office. She had never expected-- never thought-- Helena, of all people… 

Rowena lets out a shuddering breath. She is not sick, not injured, but every inch of her aches like she has been trampled by a thousand hippogriffs. She sees those shining green eyes again… pain, blinding white pain, worse than anything she had ever imagined before. And a hollow, cursed emptiness. 

She truly understands some of the mothers in the village now, those whose children died, or left their parents to run away with a underhanded charlatan, or worse. She remembers some of Helga’s trips into the village to comfort those poor women. Rowena had not understood back then how they could be in such suffering, but now… 

Days pass- or is it weeks? When she gets out of bed, it's a haze of hopelessness and weariness and pain. When she sleeps, she is haunted by nightmares. 

It's in the middle of the night, as Rowena is laying in bed, awake, when it happens. She's not quite sure exactly how much time has passed since Helena left, but whenever she closes her eyes, she sees those green orbs as if they're burned into the backs of her eyelids. Rowena can feel that she's at a breaking point. She wants to jump up and scream, she wants to succumb to sleep, she wants to write to Salazar angrily, tell him that he did this to her, she wants to do everything and nothing at the same time--

There’s a break in the persistent, throbbing agony. A moment of white light that fades quickly-- the light comes back again-- and again… her dreams are beckoning to her… she is almost there… almost to a place without pain… the warm sunlight is almost on her face… she can feel it…

Rowena Ravenclaw smiles and closes her eyes.


	2. Salazar

Salazar Slytherin claims to not be afraid of anything.

In all actuality, though, he is afraid of plenty of things. Death, for one. And- though he has never told anyone about this (his pride would never live it down), he is afraid of pigeons. Nasty little things… 

But above all, Salazar Slytherin is afraid of love.

To him, love is an uncontrollable beast, a disease that twists resolves and controls actions and dampens intellect. If you asked him, Salazar would tell you, without hesitation, that he has never loved, never been loved, and will never love.

But of course, that would not be true.

Once upon a time, Salazar loved his sister. But that was before she, along with the little tolerance Salazar had for muggles, went up in flames.

Once upon a time, Salazar loved Godric Gryffindor and Helga Hufflepuff like his own siblings. But that was before age-old grief and differences in opinion tore them apart.

Once upon a time, Salazar loved Rowena Ravenclaw. And though he wants above anything to make that love disappear, he knows that the burning fire in his soul for her will never be put out.

And perhaps that is what scares Salazar most.

\--- 

Salazar still sees that day in his nightmares-- the shouting between him and the three people closest to his heart; the zing of metal against metal as Godric drew his sword; the slam of the cherry-oak doors as he left all he had built in the past decades behind.

But most of all, Salazar sees Rowena’s face-- tears streaming down from her beautiful gray eyes, heat emanating from where she clasped his hand, her melodious voice still as wondrous as ever as she begged him not to leave.

And he sees himself, committing the worst mistake of his life as he walks away from the first woman that had been able to melt the cold shields around his heart and make him fall for her. 

\---

Salazar hates going back to Hogsmeade, where he can see Hogwarts once again, the tall turrets and stone walls towering over the skyline. Three people who were once the most important in his life reside there- two that he never want to see again, and one that he would sell his soul just to catch one last secret glimpse of.

But that doesn't change the fact that the best potions ingredients in all of Wizarding Britain are sold there, so once a month, Salazar grits his teeth, disguises his appearance, and slinks into Hogsmeade once again, staying just long enough to grab several vials and bottles off the shelves of Pandora’s and leave several galleons in their place.

On a particularly warm day in the peak of spring, Salazar is on one of these expeditions when he knocks into a plump woman on his way out from the apothecary’s. He is about to grunt out an apology when he suddenly realizes who, exactly, it is that he has bumped into.

It is the village midwife, Madam Genevieve, who happens to have been a dear friend of Helga’s. 

Salazar almost jumps back in fear of the old woman recognizing him, too, before he realizes, with a sigh of relief, that he is disguised. “Apologies, Madam,” Salazar says, backing away quickly.

But Genevieve merely grins toothlessly. “Have you heard the wonderful news, noble sir? Madam Ravenclaw has successfully birthed a daughter!”

Salazar drops his sack of potions ingredients, his blood running cold as all thoughts of a quick escape vanish from his mind. The wizard’s intelligent mind quickly does the math- it has been just about nine months since he left. The average length of a human pregnancy. But no- that can’t be possible-- “W-with whom?”

The midwife leans in conspiringly. “No one knows, not really. But there's a rumor going around that it’s Slytherin- you know, the professor that left mysteriously last summer. I don’t think it’s very likely myself, sir-- I don’t think Madam Ravenclaw would do something like that-- but you’ve got to admit that there’s some credibility in it, with the timing of Slytherin’s departure, and all…”

Madam Genevieve trails off as Salazar promptly rids himself of his lunch.

\---

That night, Salazar can’t sleep. He had tried to rid all thoughts of Rowena on the long trek home from Hogsmeade to no avail. If Rowena’s daughter is really his as well--

But no, Salazar can’t stand the thought of going back to Hogwarts. His murdered sister’s face stares accusingly at him from the back of his forcefully closed eyelids. You can’t fraternize with the likes of them, Salazar, he tells himself. Sympathizers with the muggles and mud blood scum that killed your sister.

At least, that’s what Salazar tells himself. Deep in one of the few thawed parts of his frozen cold heart, Salazar admits the real reason he does not want to return to Hogwarts.

He is afraid of what will happen to him if he sees Rowena again.

\---

Somehow, through the anguish and the regret, time moves on. Seasons change. Years go by.

Salazar becomes an old man long before his time, aged by loneliness and heartache. Some days, he comes frighteningly close to going back to Hogwarts. Especially on his monthly trips back into civilization-- when he looks up to the young school that he helped create.

But the fear keeps him where he is-- fear that his once-true friends will not accept him again; fear that if he does reveal himself, no one will trust him. And above all, the fear of the burning love he still harbors in his soul for Rowena Ravenclaw, even after all these years of separation.

And so, despite the lump in his throat whenever he goes back into Hogsmeade, Salazar forces his feet, month after month, to head back to his cottage. 

And not to where his heart truly lies.

\--- 

At some point in his self-imposed exile, Salazar’s feelings toward his monthly Hogsmeade trips begins to change. When once, they were dreaded days in which every step could lead to possible discovery, they are now treasured moments in which Salazar gets to be near other people again, in which he gets to pretend that none of the mess that is the past two decades of his life happened.

And, Salazar admits grudgingly, nowadays, he likes the company of other people. Once upon a time, Salazar had been an introverted bibliophile, only being able to stand the company of his books, his potions, and perhaps Rowena. But now, he finds himself staying at Hogsmeade longer and longer, to speak with the villagers, or perhaps just move with the crowds and revel in the feeling of being near other witches and wizards. He has given up on disguising himself long ago. It has been so long that Salazar doubts anyone would recognize him, and transfiguration only lasts for a set amount of time.

It is on one of these days when Salazar meets her for the first time.

He is browsing in a bookstore when she comes in, rattling the bookshelf in front of Salazar as she does so. Salazar is looking up to frown at her when he nearly has a heart attack.

The young woman just a couple shelves away from him is very nearly a carbon copy of a teenaged Rowena. Brunette curls, pointed Grecian nose, and that distinctive air that’s just so Ravenclaw-- but her eyes are different. Where Rowena's eyes are a piercing grey, this young woman's eyes are shining emerald green orbs.

Salazar’s heart nearly beats out of his chest. Could this possibly be--

He approaches her, heart thrumming nervously. “What is your name, Madam?”

The young woman looks up at him mistrustingly. “What business is that of yours, sir?”

Salazar had never imagined that he would ever find himself begging a woman less than a half of his age for her name, but this chance encounter is also unlike anything he could have imagined. “Please, Madam.”

She frowns at him again, but reluctantly tells him her name anyway. “Helena. Helena Ravenclaw.”

There's pure shock for several seconds. And then... Salazar has never felt anything like this before-- a combination of shock, happiness, regret... \There have been times in the past seventeen years in which he doubted that Rowena’s daughter was his as well, but now, staring at this young woman, her eyes a shocking emerald like the ones he sees every time he looks into a mirror, he knows without a doubt that Helena Ravenclaw’s name could have been Helena Slytherin. 

Father and daughter stare at each other, energy cackling between them. Finally, unable to take the tsunami of feelings threatening to rise within him, Salazar breaks the gaze. He is about to walk away like the coward he knows he is-- before he remembers the date.

Swallowing the tears bubbling at the surface, Salazar looks at his daughter one last time, reaching deep into his emerald green robes for a bronze and blue locket. The last momento Rowena had ever given him. A momento that, despite telling himself that he wants nothing to do with Rowena, he has kept it all these years as the last remnant of their love.

It is difficult giving it away. But he has missed sixteen of Helena’s birthdays already. She deserves this. And, perhaps, giving his last keepsake of Rowena to their daughter will give him closure.

“Happy birthday, Helena.”

Salazar walks away and does not look back.

\---

Unbeknownst to Salazar, that night, when Helena returns home to Hogwarts, she tells her mother and the two people who have been like an aunt and uncle to her all her life about the strange man at Hogsmeade who had so desperately wanted to know her name, had known her birthday and had even given a locket to her.

When she holds the glittering locket to the light, Godric gasps. “Isn’t that your old locket, Rowena? The one that you gave to-- to--”

Godric trails off. The three remaining founders look at each other, the end of Godric’s sentence hovering, unspoken, between them.

The one that you gave to Salazar. Before he left.

Seeing Rowena’s stricken look, Helga asks a confused Helena, gently, “What did the man look like, dear?”

Helena describes Salazar in detail, her talented intellect and memory capturing the man's likeness admirably. And although none of the founders have seen him in nearly two decades, there is no doubt in their minds that the man Helena had seen at Hogsmeade had indeed been Salazar Slytherin. 

Rowena practically runs out of the Great Hall in shock, making sure not to show her face to her friends and daughter.

\---

Two more years pass. Salazar knows that he is dying.

Twenty years ago, when Salazar was still in his prime, death would have been a scary prospect. But now… There is nothing left for Salazar in life anymore. Perhaps death will be a door away from this monotonous drone of regret that is living.

And so, he sits at the little window of his cottage, day in and day out, waiting for Thanatos to come and take him.

Eventually, he falls to sickness. 

Salazar has good and bad days. Some days, he lies in bed, every part of him throbbing in pain, blood dribbling out of his mouth with every cough. Other days, he feels well enough to sit by the window and breathe in the fresh air.

Until one day, a small tawny owl swoops into his window.

For the first time in forever, Salazar is curious. Who in the world would want to send a letter to him? Perhaps the owl had gotten lost?

He unfastens the small black envelope from the owl’s leg, who hoots at him once and flies away. On the back of the envelope is his name, written in a familiar script that makes his blood run cold.

Salazar hasn’t seen that particular petite cursive in decades, but he would recognize it anywhere. 

It is Helga Hufflepuff's. 

Dread coursing through his veins, Salazar slowly waves his wand, the envelope unfolding. With shaking hands, the old wizard extracts a single sheet of parchment, on it three words. 

Rowena is dead.

Salazar slowly backs towards the wall, feeling lightheaded. He bends over with a violent coughing fit. No… it can’t be true… 

But he can feel it inside. He can feel the fire that is still burning inside him for Rowena Ravenclaw… he can feel it fading.

And he can feel himself fading with it.

Even though he has not seen Rowena for decades, even though their relationship had merely been a short-lived affair, even though she supported Helga and Godric and their Mudbloods, Salazar feels as if a vital part of him has been ripped out, through which the little life force left in him is draining away.

Salazar Slytherin closes his eyes and welcomes death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you go! How was it? All feedback is welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> How was it? 
> 
> All comments are welcome! Compliments and constructive criticism are wonderful and much appreciated, but if you're having a bad day and feel the need to flame me, that's okay too. ;)
> 
> ~Hestia


End file.
